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Set
your expectations.
So
you've decided to tip your toe into the exciting new world of online dating.
What the heck do you do now?
You
take a deep breath and realize that the Internet links everyone to everything.
While Internet dating can be wildly fulfilling, it can also be dangerous
as well (if you attract the attention of a predator). Like real life, you
need to keep your wits about you and your BS detector operating at full
speed ahead.
Let's
start by emphazing:
Rule
number 1 - Never initially take anyone at face value online.
Because
the Internet allows for anonymity, anyone (and I mean ANYONE) can make
up an online persona for themselves that would even fool their dear sweet
mother. Think about it...you've heard often enough how sexual predators
will lurk on kiddie chats, right? The same thing holds true on online dating
sites...while a vast majority of people might be honestly looking for a
marvelous relationship, there are the scum of the earth who are
searching only to defraud people.
Always
be skeptical and cautious when first meeting someone online. If someone
sounds too good to be true...consider that to a great
big red flag.
Got
that? Okay, let's now progress smoothly to:
Rule
number 2 - Maintain your privacy at all costs.
Before
signing up with a free dating site, make sure you have a throw-away email
address (something at yahoo.com or hotmail.com). Why? Because you simply
don't want just anyone tracking you down. You want your online dating to
be done in the most secure fashion possible...you want to be able to easily
disappear if you're being harassed by anyone online (or off!).
Next,
never, never ever give out your phone number online to someone you don't
really know. Certainly, you might be a trusting and honest person...but
you never initially know if the phantom person with whom you are corresponding
is the same. Always err on the side of caution. Once time has passed and
you have determined that they are sincere
and legitimate, you can choose to give out your personal information.
What
about your physical home address? No no no! Not until you have actually
met in person in a PUBLIC place....and possibly not even then. The Internet
provides bunches of free tools to help track down where people live...be
wise about the information you share.
Speaking
of sharing, before you share, you need to have an online nickname. And
that brings me to:
Rule
number 3 - Choose the dating perception you want to create
Please
please please do not use a nickname that implies sex (unless you're
looking for 1 night stands, in which case that's fine). Remember who created
the Internet - brilliant geeks with little social lives. The Internet lets
your typical toothpick twits showcase themselves as God's gift to women
or men...especially if they think the recipient has something they'll get!
Sex, money, drugs, gold-digging...your handle can increase or decrease
(admittedly slightly) the number of jerks who will pounce on your online
body.
If
you're searching for a real relationship, consider using a nickname that
includes your likes/dislikes (sunnyday34, glassartist444, cookielover123,
etc.).
What
should you expect when you sign onto an Internet online dating service?
Why,
Rule
number 4 - Bunches of email if you're a woman, probably not as much if
you're a man
Don't
be surprised if you're drowned by a flood of email if you're a woman. Luckily,
many of the top notch dating sites will allow you to configure what kinds
of people can contact you - (ie, profile matching). You don't have to respond
to everyone as well....remember, this is your life and you are the one
who gets to decide how to handle it.
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